WordPress 4.7 Broke My Login

Aw boo, upgrading to the latest WordPress 4.7 Vaughan accidentally broke my ability to login. Instead, I was caught in a loop where WP wanted to update the database but couldn’t. No matter what, the site kept wanting to update the database, but couldn’t, never getting past that point. Googling this problem shows others have encountered the same behavior.

I found very useful troubleshooting tips in this article, namely deactivating themes and plugins. For me, it seemed the theme was the culprit. Still trying to sort it all out. 🙁