“Who was America’s first vice president and second president?” asks It’s Academic. Pshaw! “Is that your best?” is what I counter with.

It’s Academic is the latest educational challenge, pitting the smarts of Hawaii high school teams against each other. We’re talking math, science, current events, public schools, private schools. But… back in the late 80’s, there was the grand daddy of the educational challenges, clumsily called Quizzard. There’s scant documented lore about the show’s existence, and rumor has it that more evidence of Quizzard lies trapped in a pile of BetaMax tapes. But yes people, I assure you that Quizzard did indeed exist.

In the dark and dank Puuhale studios with a virile B-Rock posing the questions, teams showcased their best and their brightest (and social outcasts). But there were moments. Like when one under-aged contestant introduced himself on the show with hobbies of “fast cars and fast women.” Was that edited out during the television broadcast? Possibly, but it was said.

There was another contestant, possibly a bowling aficionado, whose attempt to rally the live studio audience was ill-fated. Nonetheless, the audience audibly responded.

Along with the three-person Quizzard team, you cannot overlook the alternates. The alternates are the practice players whose job is to push the starters to the extreme, ready for competition. Without the alternates, there would be no starters. So no matter if alternates didn’t get a chance to buzz in and meet B-Rock, we genuflect at your contribution.

What? You say you never heard of Quizzard? Truthfully, it was a fairly short run with some private school dominating early, taking the Quizzard championships. So while the Quizzard legacy may be academic, it is cherished.