Passion

Dancing with the Stars professional Mark Ballas was whisked away to a hospital after a shoulder injury on the show’s finale. But what kind of injury does he have? Here are some prognoses from some of the DWTS stars.

Cameron Mathison: He said something about “sewing a muscle back on, a torn something, stapling a muscle back, so there must be some sort of torn something.” (I hope Cameron’s character on All My Children is not of a doctor).

Mark Cuban: “basketball players do it all the time. He has a torn labrum. It’s really painful.”

Drew Lachey: “a bum wing.”

The official word from Mark’s dad is a dislocated left shoulder.

Related: DWTS Season 5 Recap

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I know it’s part of their dance routine in the finals of Dancing with the Stars, but after word that Helio Castroneves and his fiancee have called off their engagement, you got to wonder about those dance kisses.

You can see the original kiss here. For comparison purposes, here’s Helio kissing partner Julianne Hough in their finals quickstep.

Hmmm, the first time around, the kiss was like 2-3 seconds. This time, it’s more like 6 seconds. A telltale of romance?

Related: DWTS Season 5 Recap

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And I thought the trauma and drama of Dancing with the Stars was over with last night’s finale. No sir! Fresh off Helio’s championship comes word that he and his fiancee, Aliette Vazquez, have called it quits. The day after!

Is Ms. Julianne Hough in the midst of all of this? Maybe their dance floor kiss was indicative of something more? You see how he really gets in there!

You know at the age of 18, Julianne was engaged but is now single. Helio must be attracted to a girl that can play the buttock bassoon (or the other 261 terms for fart) on national television.

Related: DWTS Season 5 Recap

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The trauma and drama filled season of Dancing with the Stars has come to a close with Helio Castroneves and now two time champion Julianne Hough winning the coveted mirror ball trophy. With both couples receiving perfect scores for their final dances, the fans vote vaulted Helio and Julianne over Mel B and Maksim Chmerkovskiy. Marie Osmond and Jonathan Roberts was eliminated earlier in the night.

Even though the DWTS season is ten weeks long, it’s seen a fair share of trauma and drama over that short period. Let’s see if I can remember them all… Marie Osmond started it off by fainting after doing the samba. Then there was the passing of her father, updates about her divorce followed by news that her son entered rehab. Jane Seymour also had a dramatic time with the passing of her mother, concerns about her home in California forest fires, and didn’t she get food poisoning? The guys weren’t any luckier with Wayne Newton fighting off a heart infection and Floyd Mayweather protecting a sprained ankle on the finale show. And oh yeah, after the finale, Mark Ballas had to be taken away by ambulance due to a serious shoulder injury aggravated by his performances on the finale. Fun times I tell ya.

Here’s a news story about Mark’s injury (from KITV news).

If you want to relive Season 5 of Dancing with the Stars, be sure to check out the season’s recap. Mark Cuban’s ass? I got it. Abercrombie & Fitch man candy? Yup, it’s there. A Xanadu-like waltz? Check. Marie’s thud and oh crap moment. See it again. Youth pwned? Absolutely. Julianne Hough farting on national television? Can you smell it? The power of the Oprah is all mighty. Amen! Going fanatic over a Viennese Waltz? It is beautiful.

Do you need to relive the awarding of the mirror ball trophy to Helio and Julianne? Here’s the last few minutes of the finale.

Related:

• DWTS Season 5 Recap
• DWTS Season 4 Recap (Apolo Anton Ohno)
• DWTS Season 3 Recap (Emmitt Smith)

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Watching the first night of the finals of Dancing with the Stars left me a little disappointed. Here we are with the finalists of Mel B, Marie Osmond, and Helio Castroneves, but none of the performances left impressions of perfection. The judges picked the first dance style then left it open for a freestyle performance.

Spice Girl Melanie Brown and partner Maksim Chmerkovskiy were first up doing a cha cha, the first ever dance the couple performed for DWTS. They showed a lot of improvement over the weeks of competition, but they weren’t perfect getting a score of 28. Their freestyle looked too easy to show off the advances made by Mel B. She didn’t look challenged, especially for a dance in the finals. The judges reflected this with a score of 27.

Marie Osmond and Jonathan Roberts are the surprise couple in the finals, voted in by the fans. The judges pointed out that Marie is not technically superior in her dance steps, but she entertains the crowd. But maybe not this time… Her samba fell way short of perfection getting a 24. Then Marie’s freestyle was downright freaky with that doll theme. Marie’s supposedly “one of the top designers in the world with dolls,” but translated into a dance, the thematic routine was just bizarre. This got the lowest score of the night with a 22.

However, I still have to acknowledge Marie’s charisma and connection with her fans. After getting all 8’s for her samba, the look of disbelief almost had me sold and wanting to vote for this scoring travesty! She coulda sold me a used Toyota Camry at that point. Just look at the disbelief and sorrow.

After her freestyle, Marie commented that “she’s in the finals, is almost 50, and just did flips in the air. Gimme a break.” Unfortunately, this is the finals and getting a break is nowhere to be had at the peak of competition. Wouldn’t you rather have seen Jennie Garth and the choreography of Derek Hough in the freestyle finals (a MILF and a DILF?)? Yeah, me too.

Lastly, Helio Castroneves and Julianne Hough had a shot of perfection, but they too fell short. The judges picked one of Helio’s poorer performances, the jive, for his repeat performance. Even though the fans went crazy after the number, the dance did have a lot of flaws and mistakes, nowhere close to perfection. From a scoring standpoint, they redeemed themselves with their high octane, almost perfect freestyle getting a 29 out of 30. But it felt like the judges conceded scores of 10 since this was the last dance of the night and comparatively was better than the freestylings of Mel B and Marie. Head Judge Len Goodman gave Helio and Julianne a 10 but looked disgusted when he said that was the best freestyle of the night by miles. I’m thinking the desperation for perfection led to this score more than anything else.

One note. Did you catch Fly Girl, Carrie Ann Inaba, give a verbal bitch slap to the Spice Girls when critiquing Mel B? Funny. Wonder what the Cheetah Girls thought about that?

The two-hour finale is tonight at the same time the UH basketball team takes on the Eagles of Coppin State. Will perfection be found on the dance floor Tuesday night?

Related: DWTS Season 5 Recap

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Season 5 of Dancing with the Stars is coming to a close this week as the finals begin tonight and continue on Tuesday night. But look! There’s a rule change this year perhaps to counter Marie Osmond making it this far in the competition.

The couple finishing in third place will be announced at the start of Tuesday’s show. Then the remaining two pairs will dance twice to determine the winner. In previous seasons, all dancers performed the same number of routines. Seems like another opportunity to eliminate the Osmond PR machine is needed, hence the rule change?

While I discounted Mel B’s chances of winning, she and Maks are transcending the competition. Just check out the fanaticism of the comments on Mel and Maks’ Viennese Waltz from last week. There’s some serious devotion there.

Related: DWTS Season 5 Recap

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