Stop the Twerking Phase, Please
It’s for your own safety. Twerking leads to unintended self immolation.
Pulp
Alyssa Milano Wants to Keep You Current
Who’s the Boss icon, Alyssa Milano, shows off her sense of humor as she tries to keep the general public informed of world events.
Behold the Alyssa Milano sex tape!
Now that you’re current, how about testing your knowledge with this (legitimate) quiz titled, “Do you know more about the news than the average American?” How many of the 13 questions did you get right?
I Have Eaten a Croissant Donut
And probably so have you, especially if you’re a long time fan of Saint-Germain Bakery.
A Brief Intro
Long time Hawaii bakery, Saint-Germain, has followed the course of the cronut, introducing their aptly named Croissant Donut. But here’s the catch. Only 100 of these are prepared daily, and you can only get them at the new Makai location on the ground level of Ala Moana. You got that? Only 100 available at the Makai Saint-Germain (next to See’s Candies). So in order to indulge in the Croissant Donut, you have to get there early (opens at 7am on the weekdays), wend your way through the messed up Ala Moana parking, and battle the influx of senior citizens.
Got Lucky
On a Friday morning while in the Ala Moana area, I took a chance and stopped by the Makai location. I got lucky. There was still a tray of both the plain and cream croissant donuts at 9am.
I grabbed a few upon which the perusing seniors started the dialog.
“You tried those yet?”
“They supposed to be good.”
“They’re a big thing from New York.”
“How they taste?”
“My son went to New York, and I told him to bring me back one.”
Anyways, you get the idea of how it went as I stood in line waiting to make my first ever purchase of Croissant Donuts.
My Verdict
I’ve had these before – that’s the singular thought in my head after my first taste. Now that’s not necessarily a bad thought but just somewhat anti-climatic. True, I don’t know what an authentic cronut tastes like, but I do know the pastries of Saint-Germain, and the Croissant Donut fit their flavor profile.
Over the years, have you ever tried the regular donuts from Saint-Germain? How about their long skinny donuts that are lined with apple, custard, or chocolate? Yeah, those. Now imagine taking that long donut and encircling it. Then take two of these circles and stack them. There’s your Croissant Donut. Want a cream variant? Use cream to bond the two donuts together. Again, the Croissant Donuts are not bad since the Saint-Germain donuts are good and flakey anyways, but this variation isn’t distinctively unique either.
So as always, I encourage you to form your own opinion based on your own tastes and preferences. Head on over to Saint-Germain Bakery, and try a Croissant Donut and let me know what you think.
Homemade Ramen Burgers Are Like Lugz Zoshos
The ramen burger is a perfect example of a collaboration of cultures – the American beef patty meets Asian noodles. Sounds simple enough that both you or I could recreate this collabo at home. Just don’t do it.
Confess. You’ve thought about it. Cook a few packages of Sapporo Ichiban and sizzle up some May’s beef patties, and marvel at your own homemade ramen burger. Or even better, prepare real ramen noodles, form them into bun shapes, and make your own hamburger patties.
But upon your first bite, you’ll realize it’s just not that simple. While you can mimic the appearance of the noodle bun around a burger, you can’t replicate the taste of the ramen burger. It’s best to leave that to the experts.
Whatever it is, don’t try to make your own ramen burger at home without being ready to infuse it with some flavor and soul. And while going to New York to sample the real ramen burger is out of the picture, you can get a ramen burger locally from Tanaka Saimin. I hear it’s quite tasty.
Where Is Gregg Hammer?
Another foodie fad from the East Coast like the cronut, the ramen burger “traveled” to Hawaii much faster than the donut hybrid. So far, Tanaka’s is the first location I know of that serves this Asian American combination.
Thanks for the tip, Hammer! And we’re still missing you on Hawaii radio waves.
A Yeti and a Gingerbread Man Meet by a Camper
Sounds like the beginning of a joke, but I don’t know the punchline. Just that a Yeti, Gingerbread Man, and a VW camper are an odd combination.
Clueless About Coffee Cup Couture
Obviously, I am clueless about what’s fashionable for coffee cup designs. This morning, Starbucks announced their limited edition Swarovski mug to celebrate the 10th Anniversary of the Pumpkin Spice Latte (PSL). My reaction at seeing this bedazzled mug – “meh.” Crystal-studded and holding 12 ounces of coffee doesn’t equate to $150 in my book.
But yet, after a few scant hours, all 600 of these Swarovski keepsakes were purchased. Coincidentally, eBay has them with bids ranging from $300 to $700. Besides resale value, I don’t see the appeal. The crystals are sorta cool, but I can’t imaging holding the cup with the crystals biting into your hand. The ombre hue is nice but alone not worth the $150-price tag.
And that green crystal circle. I’m guessing it’s supposed to represent the Starbucks mermaid logo, but it’s so abstract, I wouldn’t recognize it unless you told me this was a mug from Starbucks. I’d rather order $150 worth of PSL to drink, but that’s my cup couture-less opinion.
Interesting Searches for Hawaiian Slang
A quick review of recent searches here at Pulpconnection reveal some interesting sought for terms. There are searches for howlie, maho, and shoots. I can only guess, but “howlie” has to be haole aka the white person as explained in 21 Slangs Words You Should Know Before Visiting Hawaii (Part 1).
“Maho” I’m assuming is the transvestite mahu. I doubt the search was looking for the Hawaiian garb “malo.”
And then there’s “shoots.” Not chutes but shoots. Coincidentally, I recently used shoots in an informal email to a coworker. It was mot juste so I went with it, but I began thinking about the term and wondered where it came from. Basically, shoots is akin to an affirmative used to acknowledge or agree with something.
Example
“I going stop by your house around 5.”
“Shoots.”
While shoots can stand alone, it’s frequently preceded by “k’den” or followed by “then” or “brah” – “k’den shoots” or “shoots brah.” What’s the etymology of this word, I have no guess. Just go with it okay? (And this is the part you reply back with “shoots!”).
Pickup Basketbal Stereotypes
First watch this video stereotyping the types of players you’ll meet playing pickup basketball.
Which player were you? At times, I was Mr. Accessory though for the wrong reasons with ankle braces, knee protection, and foot orthotics. I was a few years removed from the shooting sleeve popularized by Allen Iverson, but I would have definitely worn one (and only one) shooting sleeve. I would have said no to the headbands trend when it dominated the NBA. Without a doubt I was the “Shoe Guy” if shoes aren’t considered an accessory. I wore different kicks on court depending on how I felt.
I played against a few of the last stereotype. Did nothing all game then takes and makes a hurried shot for the win. You just gotta shake your head at those moments.
One stereotype missing from the video is the dirty player. Everyone’s played against this stereotype at some point. The hardest part is finding out who that is before you get hurt. Usually, the dirty player plays hard to make up for ability level. To get an advantage, there’s a push here, a hold there, and screens with shots to your knees as you go by. All of this is followed by unfazed looks of innocence, but you know the intent of the dirty player was purposeful.
Oh hey, one more stereotype not in the video is the “Black Hole.” Like the astronomical marvel, black hole pickup players have a gravitational pull that’s impossible to overcome. So when the ball touches the black hole’s hands, teammates will never see the ball again. Double, triple teams won’t trigger a pass out of the black hole since it’s simply impossible. Yes, I have been called a black hole in the past, but you know, wearing Jordan XI shoes gives you the right to keep taking shots. Wearing Jordans on the court is the virtual green light to keep shooting.
Could You Contribute to the Huffington Post Hawaii Edition?
You think you got what it takes to contribute to the Huffington Post or its forthcoming Hawaii edition? Most likely not, but then again, here’s some of what’s in the Most Popular section for August 23, 2013.
Okay, maybe you do have what it takes…
Looking for a Career Change?
Consider becoming a music DJ and get good enough to mix in Las Vegas. Your payout? Potentially $46 million in a year. That’s $46,000,000.00. $200,000 per show ain’t too shabby at all.
Mot Juste. Exactly.
Someone at work pointed out this “word” – mot juste. Mot juste is simply defined as:
the exactly right word or phrasing
I doubt I’ll ever use this word though. If I said it, people would probably think I mangled the word “mojo.” But I’d love to hear if you were able to work in some mot juste.