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Fatbergs, I Would Like to See One

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I had never heard of a fatberg before reading this Yahoo article. But now that I know fatbergs exist, I want to see one, if only for scatological reasons.

Fatbergs are composed largely of cooking oil that has been poured down drains while hot and runny. Once in the cold water of the sewer system, however, the fat congeals. The solid mess then combines with “wet wipes.” The wipes are frequently labeled as “disposable” but are turning out not to be.

Cooking oil + wet wipes = fatberg, it turns out.

fatberg

“Convinient” Automation

How thoughtful! To help figure out tip/gratuity on a bill, various percentages are provided to patrons for their “convinience.”

"Convinience"
“Convinience”

How is this automated addition of this information, not spell checked?

What’s Guwapo?

Actually, I guess it should be “Who’s guwapo?” since Urban Dictionary defines guwapo as handsome or beautiful in the Tagalog language. Now I understand why @abaggy keeps saying guwapo as he stands in front of any mirror.

But can @abaggy compare against the guwapo John Spainhour, Mister World Philippines 2014?

Mr. World Philippines 2014
Mr. World Philippines 2014

Update: I guess for the Ilokano “naguapo” might be the word.

Abunai, White Buoy

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The voice boomed over the public announcement loud speakers:

abunai1
Strong current
“Warning. It is now high tide, and there’s strong current in the water. Stay away from the white buoys on the right and left sides of the bay. Make sure you can touch the ground. Children are to be supervised at all times and not left alone in the water. Keep kids at an arm’s length distance.

Repeat. There are strong currents on the left and right sides of the bay. Stay in the middle away from the white buoys, especially if you are not a strong swimmer. Stay away from the white buoys.”

Looking around the idyllic beach at Hanauma Bay, I saw many foreign tourists. Did they understand the lifeguard’s warning? Would the life-saving message be translated to other languages? Yes! The lifeguard is multi-lingual. He translates his warning into Japanese.

Abunai, white buoy. Abunai, white buoy.

Abunai, white buoys
Abunai, white buoys

I kid you not. I guess abunai more or less sums up the situation.

Hawaiian Slang: Cheehoo!

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Now here’s an interesting one – cheehoo! This exclamation is a fairly recent addition to the Hawaii kine vernacular. It’s not old school pidgin since by no means did Andy Bumatai shout out cheehoo! in All in the Ohana. There’s a Samoan origin to cheehoo! but what does cheehoo! mean? It doesn’t matter what cheehoo! means since it’s a colloquial exclamation in today’s Hawaiian slang. Think of it like yahoo, wahoo, woohoo, or yee-haw. It’s just something you say when you’re excited or when you’re celebrating.

Notice too that I list cheehoo! with an exclamation point. The one thing with cheehoo! is that you have to say it from deep down. If you’re going to cheehoo!, you have to go for it and commit. Cheehoo! comes from the soul and isn’t for the meek. Watch local deejay, Slick Vic, demonstrate the proper cheehoo! to Matt Lauer and Savannah Guthrie when the Today Show visited the islands. Jump to 2:13 for the cheehoo! demonstration.

When done properly, a cheehoo! is truly a force. Witness a hearty cheehoo! stop the most powerful man in America. Not only did a cheehoo! interrupt President Barack Obama, it broke his train of thought, needing some time to regain his composure. Cheehoo!

Don’t forget about these posts:

Huffington Post Features 27 Words to Learn Before Visiting Hawaii

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Oh snap, the Huffington Post has just outdone me with today’s article 27 Words To Learn Before You Visit Hawaii. My popular Pulpconnection post only features 21 Slang Words You Should Know Before Visiting Hawaii. Oh wait, I can’t count it seems. I have Parts 1 and 2 of the series with a total of 24 words, but still I’m three short!

Let’s quickly compare our lists of words you need to know before visiting Hawaii. Here’s HuffPo’s 27 words with Pulpconnection matches bolded:

  1. Aloha
  2. Mahalo
  3. Kōkua
  4. Mauka
  5. Makai
  6. Poke
  7. Windward
  8. Leeward
  9. Pono
  10. Vog
  11. Haole
  12. Howzit
  13. Honu
  14. Ohana
  15. Ono
  16. Malasada
  17. Da kine
  18. Kamaʻāina
  19. Keiki
  20. Lanai
  21. Pau
  22. Wahine
  23. Kāne
  24. Lei
  25. Pupu
  26. Auntie & Uncle
  27. Shaka

So we have eight matches of our respective lists. My other local phrase contenders are:

  1. lua
  2. shark bait
  3. “small world”
  4. “where you went grad?” or “what school you went?”
  5. poho
  6. Zippys
  7. lolo
  8. pakalolo
  9. mahu
  10. malo, mawashi, or mankini
  11. sukebe
  12. brah
  13. B-52 cockroach
  14. fut
  15. ainokea
  16. talk story

Of course, I’m preferential to my Pulpconnection lists, but it’s all good or is it “it’s all pono.” 😉

Mo bettah, I stay go make Part 3 of da kine list wit dese ones:

  • Au-rite
  • Mean
  • Can/No can
  • Shoots
  • We go
  • No ack
  • Scrap
  • K den
  • Hapa
  • Bobora
  • K-bar
  • Small kine
  • Moke
  • Choke
  • Okole
  • Like/No Like
  • chillax’n

The Meaning of Mahu Now Available

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Now available on local newsstands is the March 2014 issue of Mana. The feature – the meaning of mahu.

mana-mahu
The Meaning of Mahu

Seemingly, the subject of mahu is highly sought after, reviewing the analytics and popular search terms for Pulpconnection. Can’t believe how many visitors view my post, 21 Slang Words You Should Know Before Visiting Hawaii (Part 1), looking for a definition of mahu.

Shoots, den! Go take a look.

Because Pulpconnection

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The power and influence of the Internet is grand. Learning is a Google away, entertainment anywhere is possible with a smartphone, and even the English language continues to evolve (despite Urban Dictionary). And now there’s “because.”

The word “because,” in standard English usage, is a subordinating conjunction, which means that it connects two parts of a sentence in which one (the subordinate) explains the other. In that capacity, “because” has two distinct forms. It can be followed either by a finite clause (I’m reading this because [I saw it on the web]) or by a prepositional phrase (I’m reading this because [of the web]). These two forms are, traditionally, the only ones to which “because” lends itself.

So next time, when you chuckle, learn something interesting, or find out happenings in Hawaii, you can think “because Pulpconnection.”

Moose Knuckle, Golden Showers, and Underbutt

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I like to review popular search terms that bring readers here to Pulpconnection, and sometimes, I just gotta laugh. One search term that’s been percolating for the past week is “moose knuckle.” The culprit is the pulpy post “Was That a DWTS Moose Knuckle, Gilles?”

If you recall, back in 2009, actor Gilles Marini’s wardrobe on Dancing with the Stars was a bit too shapely. If you’re not sure what a moose knuckle is, the Wake-Up Crew on I-94 had a lesson back in 2008. Of course, this lesson was led by the famously funny Gregg Hammer.

Speaking of things you learn or hear on the radio, today’s discussion on Da Bomb 102.7 was about golden showers, and one caller was descriptively enthused about this activity. And no, this topic wasn’t about the golden showers fireworks.

From vmagazine.com
From vmagazine.com
Meanwhile, did you know news about Miley Cyrus outpaces news about Syria by twelve times? NY Mag takes a statistical look. Related to this article is another article informing all of us that the underbutt is here to stay.

Interesting Searches for Hawaiian Slang

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A quick review of recent searches here at Pulpconnection reveal some interesting sought for terms. There are searches for howlie, maho, and shoots. I can only guess, but “howlie” has to be haole aka the white person as explained in 21 Slangs Words You Should Know Before Visiting Hawaii (Part 1).

“Maho” I’m assuming is the transvestite mahu. I doubt the search was looking for the Hawaiian garb “malo.”

And then there’s “shoots.” Not chutes but shoots. Coincidentally, I recently used shoots in an informal email to a coworker. It was mot juste so I went with it, but I began thinking about the term and wondered where it came from. Basically, shoots is akin to an affirmative used to acknowledge or agree with something.

Example

“I going stop by your house around 5.”

“Shoots.”

While shoots can stand alone, it’s frequently preceded by “k’den” or followed by “then” or “brah” – “k’den shoots” or “shoots brah.” What’s the etymology of this word, I have no guess. Just go with it okay? (And this is the part you reply back with “shoots!”).

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